Ocean Fear

I am now writing about a personal fear of mine, one that I cannot stand and have always stayed away from and that is deep water, I cannot stand to be anywhere near it, I can barely go to any beach and go further than just about knee level before I stop. It is something that I have never been able to explain, as I have no problem with the deep end of the swimming pool but the ocean that is a different story. Like I said I have no idea why I have always been afraid of it, as nothing has ever happened to me in my life such as a traumatic experience to put me off it, so have no idea where this has come from.

What I do not like about it is that I do not feel safe, even if I was with a lot of people around me I still wouldn't feel comfortable be in there, I like to know what is below me and be able to see it. This is different when I am flying as I can see what is below me most of the time and know what is below except when flying over the ocean but I do feel different about it as I trust the captain not to crash the plane as they would not have been aloud to fly the plane if they didn't have the proper training etc. but being in the water just scares the life out of me, it is my one and only nightmare that I do ever get, being alone in the middle of the ocean, floating their on my own, with just nothing but empty space and whatever is down there below me.

I will admit that I do sometimes have a problem with it, not in films as I normally tend to think that the film is rubbish and keep watching not even thinking about the deep ocean but do at times have a problem watching it on documentaries but because I like watching documentaries I will keep watching and just not think about it, this is something I have never properly been able to explain even to myself.

I do have a few memories of being in deep water, the first was when I was about four or five and my family were on holiday in Spain I think and my mum and dad took me on a boat trip, then never being on a boat before and never at the time had any fear of the ocean was very happy to go on but the remember the further we got from land the more scared I got and more I started to cry, and was even worse when a few days later when we went on another boat that went more around the coast with a looking glass to see the wildlife under the water, I took one look and that was enough for me and have never done anything like it since.

The next memory I have was when I was fourteen and we were on holiday in Mexico and were taken for the day to and ancient Mayan temple then onto a cavern where we were all aloud to jump into the cavern pool and me jumping from quite some hight only to resurface to the words this pool goes down 20 meters and travels for miles and miles under the land until it reaches the sea, an this was enough for me to panic like crazy and get out of there immediately, I had never been so scared. I don't even like underwater caverns as I would be too afraid of getting stuck or even lost.

It is because of this fear that I have that I will also be basing my next tattoo on, I am hoping to get a water dragon as this symbolizes protection, just really hope it really works but will be saving up for this and will be some time.